Earth's Muddiest Heroes (Race Recap)

Unfortunately Carrie was not able to run Mud Hero this past weekend, but we found someone to buy her bib.  Laura had wanted to participate, but missed the registration deadline, so I arranged to have her buy Carrie's bib.  The deadline for doing online transfers passed, so I wrote the organizers and they told me to have Carrie write a permission note for Laura to run in her place and bring it to the registration tent upon race kit pick up on Saturday morning.  Thursday I met Dan for lunch at Lovey's and feasted on their delicious pulled pork poutine.  Dan brought me Carrie's note which was written on a used envelope.  He explained that she wrote it quickly that morning and couldn't find any paper to write it on, so she used the envelope.  I found this hilarious.  Well it's good enough.  I also printed off the email from Mud Hero and combined with this note, get Carrie's bib transferred to Laura.

So I was supposed to race with Carrie and her friends.  Having only met one of them once, I decided to bail on them and asked Ed and Jay if Laura and I could join their team.  They said no problem, but we'd have to buy a couple accessories for a team costume (shown below).  I was able to pick up yellow bow ties and stockings from Party Stuff.  The rest of the team consisted of Bryan, who played basketball with us one year, two other girls and another guy whom I don't know.

My legs are going to look sexy

Saturday morning came and I had gotten maybe 4.5 hours of sleep.  I showered, had some cereal and got ready.  My intentions were to wear my Vibram Five Finger shoes during the mud run, due to them being machine washable, so I had to cut the toes off the stockings.  I geared up as much of my race clothes as possible and wore sweats over top.  With my car packed, I awaited for Laura to arrive.  I was going to drive us out to the Grand Beach Entertainment Centre, as Jay was driving and said his car was full.  We left close to 7:30 and was about an hours drive north.  We reached the Mud Hero site close to 8:30 and Jay had texted that they had arrived.  Laura paid for parking and was guided to a parking spot.  We decided to first get registered and come back to the car to get ready.  As we exited the car, Jay called out to us from the next row up and a few cars to the left.  He was with Ed and our teammate Kyle.  We all got introduced and chatted for a short while, then went to collect our race kits.  We had to sign a waiver first and I got my kit.  Laura had no issues getting the registration transferred to herself.  In the kit was a drop off bag, a Mud Hero Tee, our bib and a timing chip to be attached to our shoe.  

Race kit - Drop off bag, Tee, Bib and Timing Chip that I had already attached to my shoe

We returned to the car and got prepared.  I was ready first and joined the guys as they put on their accessories.  Bryan had now arrived and joined us at Jay's car.  Had I known he was driving up alone, I would have offered to pick him up.  Oh well, was a little late now.  Laura joined us with her bow tie on her head.  Most of us preferred this look over wearing it around our neck and did the same.  By now, it was not even 9:30 and had more than an hour until our 10:30 wave time.  We chatted a bit while waiting for the last 2 members of our team.  They had arrived on the grounds, but didn't join us until nearly 10:00.  We met Kerri and Lisa as they wore their bow ties loosely around their necks.  They too preferred the idea of wearing them on their heads.  We took a few group pics prior to checking out the rest of the grounds.  

Kyle, Laura, Lisa, Kerri, Ed, Bryan, Jay and me up front.  Unfortunately half the team wasn't ready for the pic

Most everyone got some free vitamin water from a booth and used the rest areas one more time.  I checked my bag with mine and Jay's keys as well as my phone.  By now it was after 10, so we made our way to the starting line.  It was a long wait as we wanted to get the show on the road.  A DJ played music and pumped up the crowd while laying down some ground rules like no spiked shoes or sliding head first for safety reasons.  Finally at 10:30, the horn sounded and we were off.  We all ran together at the start.  I hope to recollect all the obstacles in order by using the course map, but it appears to be inaccurate.  They are either out of order or we didn't even encounter some, like the tires shown in obstacle 9.  We ran through the trails and I could feel every rock through my Vibrams.  At one point, my left foot encounter some flower type weed which got stuck between my big toe and second toe.  This made running slightly uncomfortable.  We carried on up a steep hill and it got backlogged going down.  I took this time to remove the weed from my toes and made our way down a steep slope.  Here we reached our first obstacle, a muddy water pit with logs that we had to duck under.  It seemed to be more top soil filled water rather than clay or Manitoba gumbo if you will.  So trudging through it wasn't difficult, but it was freezing cold.  Upon exiting I was covered in mud up to my nose.  I continued running while spitting out mud and wiping it from my eyes and the rest of my face.  It stung my eyes for a bit, but I kept blinking until whatever lodged dirt was purged.  Ed, Bryan and Kyle (I'll call them Alpha Team) took the lead, Laura and I (Beta Team) ran a bit behind them while Jay hung back with Kerri and Lisa (Charlie Team).  

The second obstacle was the car park.  This featured 2 rows of 3 cars with planks of wood covering the windshields.  It was a fairly easy obstacle to run over and gave me a chance to slow down and rest a bit before returning to a run.  Alpha team waited for us at the end.  Next we approached a horizontal rope net.  I saw some people walking across them and made the same attempt.  After a few steps I fell forward and had to resort to crawling across it on all fours.  We made it through and caught up again with Alpha team.  More running ensued before we got to the Spidey Web, which was a series of bungee cables strung between trees making it difficult to pass.  In order to get through, you had to pull the cables apart and squeeze your way between them.  I got through the first several webs without difficulty until the second last set.  My foot snagged on the cable while stepping across.  I quickly said "I'mGonnaBail" as I tumbled sideways onto my back and rolled back onto my feet.  I exited the final web as Laura and I rejoined Alpha Team at the front.  Charlie Team fell behind and we had not seen them for some time.  Next was a simple 8 ft wall with hand holds to climb as well as a more difficult way up using ropes.  We chose the easier of the two.  Next was the deep woods.  It wasn't much of an obstacle, as it was only a trek through some wooded trail.  

This whole time, there was a lot of slight uphill slopes, making the run a bit more tiring.  I'm used to flat runs on cement, but the slopes combined with uneven pasture and rocky terrain with debris just added to the degree of difficulty.  One of the next obstacles was the Over/Under.  It was a series of maybe 5 foot walls and low beams to crawl under.  I would hop the wall, then slide roll under the beams, doing this 3 or 4 times.  By this time Alpha team had pulled ahead of us.  Beta team attempted to keep up, but had to occasionally do some rest walks.  We made our way to a path that sloped down towards a swamp which didn't smell very pleasant.  This led to another mud pit with upward sloped tunnels.  I crawled in and rolled to my back as I pushed myself upwards with my feet and shuffled myself up with my hands.  As I reached the opening, I pulled myself out using the mouth of the tube.  While running I noticed now that I didn't seem to have full control of my feet.  I realized that we were often running on a slight down hill slope now.  My feet we sliding forward in my Vibrams, making downhill running slightly awkward.  I did not like this very much, so had to slow down my pace to prevent losing control.   Next up was a climb to a slide which led to another muddy pit which again was freezing cold.  We approached the Superhero Cargo Climb which is basically more cargo netting that you had to climb upwards to about 25 feet and then climb down the other side.  This to me was probably the scariest obstacle.  I didn't want to rush myself and lose my footing, otherwise it could have been a painful fall.  Again we encountered another mud pit with low boards that you had to bow below close to the water.  Needless to say, it was very cold.  

Following that, we came to a long path with a return path separated by rope.  Alpha team passed by us on this stretch as Ed cheered us on.  This next obstacle was a fairly high wall with hand holds to a platform and fireman poles on the other side.  I slid down the pole, but being fairly wet, I had no traction and landed on the ground fairly hard.  It stung momentarily as I didn't absorb any of the impact upon landing.  At this stretch we had now passed Charlie team as they were now approaching the fireman poles.  We were coming up to the final stretch and it was uphill again.  Laura and I decided to walk up the hill to rest a bit.  There was some guy in orange directing traffic to the bouncy slide.  I said to him, you need a hug and he said sure.  So I gave him a quick muddy embrace leaving his bright shirt, slightly sullied.  I climbed up one side of the bouncy slide, jumped and slid down to the bottom.  I told Laura about the hug and she was surprised that no one had offered him a hug yet.  Then the finished line quickly approached and we ran through some muddy, sandy dunes while the announcer called out our names right before crossing the finish line.  We were given medals, water and Muscle MLK.  We are Mud Heroes.  I bumped fists with Alpha and Beta teams as we celebrated our accomplishment.  Charlie team arrived shortly after and Jay dropped to do pushups while Ed joined in.  We rested, drank fluids and chatted for a bit before suggesting that I pick up my bag to retrieve my phone and take pictures.  

On my way to the bag pick up, I stopped at the Kodiak booth, filled out a ballot and got a free Kodiak bandana.  Just what I needed, something to wipe my muddy hands with.  Now off to get my bag.  It was a silly system.  They told me to find my bag and show them the number to confirm it was mine on the way out.  The problem was, the bags were placed on a long table within a certain range of numbers, but in no particular order.  Had I known, I would have paid attention to where my bag was placed upon drop off.  I sifted through countless bag trying to find my number until I finally found it.  Huge waste of time.  I returned to the group and told them about it.  Jay had a good point, anyone could stuff their bag with a few other bags and snuck them out of there.  Doesn't make me feel safe leaving my possessions there.  Anyways, we took a few muddy group pics while in line and again on the Mud Hero photo booth or whatever you want to call it.

Back - Ed, Bryan, Kyle, Me - Front - Jay, Laura, Lisa, Kerri (yes, she is a blond)

Me, Kerri, Lisa, Jay, Laura, Kyle, Ed, Bryan

Now it was time for the most challenging part of this event, the showers.  We retrieved towels from our vehicles and made our way to the outdoor showers.  It was basically a tall, long horse structure with hoses running to the top and spraying downward at a slight angle.  When it was my turn, I stepped into the freezing cold water and washed as much mud off my body and clothes.  I was still a shivering mess. It didn't help that the sun had disappeared and there was a slight breeze We went back to the vehicles and I removed what articles I could and stuck them into a garbage bag.  I wiped off most of the mud and put on the Mud Hero Tee.  I opened up both driver side doors to make a shield and with my towel wrapped around my waist, I was able to remove the rest of my muddy clothes and put on fresh ones.  We met with the rest of the team, but Kerri and Lisa had to get going.  They gave us their timing chips (to be redeemed for a Michelob) and we said our goodbyes.  The rest of us headed for the BBQ.

We lined up for food while Jay and Ed scouted the area.  They returned with beers and then saved our spots so that we could do the same.  It was a slow line, but we entertained ourselves during the wait.  Outside of the area we saw Teletubbies.  I gave my beer to Bryan to hold and I went over to get their picture. 

Cool costumes, but just imagine the weight they'll have to carry after trudging through the first mud pit.  No thanks.  We got to the front of the line and ordered our food.  I chose a delicious quinoa burger with all the fixings and asian slaw.  Unfortunately there were no tables to sit at, so we decided to go back to the cars and lay down blankets on the rocky terrain.  Good enough.  We enjoyed our meals in the sun.  It was coming up to 2pm and we really had no reason to stick around, so we too decided to depart.  Overall, it was a great event.  It was more difficult than my usual races, was a lot of fun.  I would have preferred if if there was actually muddy obstacles rather than soil.  I'd still do it again next year for sure. Next up is Dirty Donkey on August 17th.  I have a feeling that it'll be a bit disappointing in comparison to Mud Hero, but we'll go out there to have fun and get dirty.